In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
