I love black thongs
I hate all girls vehemently.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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