That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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