dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
