wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
