Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
