Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
