It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
