Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
