i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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