Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
