We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize