you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
