Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
