I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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