if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
