The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
