Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
