Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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