Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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