hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
