I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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