Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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