there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
