im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
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