toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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