If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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