Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I love you. Go after that dick
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
