Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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