dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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