What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
