booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
