best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
