if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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