Christians are straight up FREAKS
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
oh god was she eating orange peels again
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
