I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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