I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's never too late to be topless.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
