I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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