your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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