im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
