i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I deserve this hangover.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
