hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
