Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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