SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
