your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
