Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
