she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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