It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
