OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
