make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Mom said you looked used
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
