So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I want to fling myself into the sun
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
