You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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