Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
