I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
