Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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