Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
