did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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