My first STD was from a foam party
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
