JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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