I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
