rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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