You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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