I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
