You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
