I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
