People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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