Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
